One of the most important aspects of successfully having a goal (not even a achieving, simply having), is to be unattached.
Many people I know tend to resist setting goals and resolutions because they don’t like to put pressure on themselves, either because it makes them feel rigid or stuck, or because they don’t want to fail. And I understand why. I don’t want to ever do anything that makes me feel rigid, stuck, or like a failure.
The key then, to setting a goal and remaining free and joyful, is to be unattached. Being unattached does not mean you don’t care. That would be apathy. As human beings, we are designed to have wants and desires. Setting intentional and thoughtful goals and resolutions are ways for us to grow into our highest levels of contribution. We are also designed with an innate wholeness that no one and no thing can take away from us if we choose to stay connected to it. We don’t need goals to prove anything or to complete anything about us. We can simply use them to help us hone our expression of the perfection within us.
Being unattached means that we have a preference, yet we know we will be okay either way. Even if we have a very strong preference (this practice has been very supportive of me in my most challenging times), we can rest knowing that we will be able to handle it if it doesn’t work out the way we hope. This space gives us the freedom to really want something, yet feel free from it. Being unattached also means that we set our goals from a foundation of already being whole. Meaning, we know that essentially, the achievement of the goal is just extra fun on top of already loving and valuing ourselves.
Goals and resolutions should make us feel lighter, more energized, and more on track in expressing our already amazing selves. If this isn’t the case, we are either setting our goals from the wrong place, or setting the wrong goals.
Start from nonattachment and wholeness, and see how it feels.